Please Stop Getting Drunk And Sending Emails To My Wife

from by Maria in the Shower/A Loving Offering

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    Artwork by Martin Abram Reisle (Hiakku by Aiden Brant-Briscall, Jack Garton, Martin Reisle and our friend Darry Danzig)

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about

also a true story

lyrics

Please stop getting drunk and sending emails to my wife
She's got better things to do
Than to listen to the alcohol
Slosh around inside your skull
And get verbally assaulted
By someone who can barely string a sentence together

Well your not arrived in the inbox
I have to say your words cut like a knife
That's been dulled by many many years of sawing into rocks
It's down there with the dumbest things I've read in my life

'Cause you make a bathroom stall read like Cormac McCarthy
And I know your not the kind that likes to edit
But after spewing such abuse in the language of a preschool kid
Someday you might wish that you'd re-read it

'Cause it leaves you so exposed
You seem to be magnanimously dumb
A song like this is easy to compose
With a chorus every boy and girl can hum:

Please stop getting drunk and sending emails to my wife
She's got better things to do with her life
Than to listen to the alcohol
Slosh around inside your skull
Drowning out those few good parts of you

Well maybe it's technology and frankly that's what worries me
Anyone with venom and a minute
Can take a verbal shit into their keyboard
And others have to smell what was in it

But I'll give credit where the credit is due
You've bitched at a lot of people in your day
Yeah, your the kung-fu master of the insensitive remark
Your the Einstein of the stupid thing to say

So please stop getting drunk and sending emails to my wife
She's got better things to do with her life
Than to listen to the alcohol
Slosh around inside your skull
Turn your words into a toxic stew
That is drowning out those one, or two, good parts of you.

No you weren't invited to the wedding
Deciding that didn't take much time
'Cause although I know you're probably forgetting
The inbox you used to send things to was mine.

credits

from Maria in the Shower III, released February 17, 2014
by Jack Garton
Performed by:
Aiden Brant-Briscall, Jack Garton, and Martin Abram Reisle

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